January 3, 2012

I believe...

What is truth?

What was, what is, what will be.

They say to close your eyes in order to see, yet in the darkness the shadows churn and I hear thunder within my own silence. Is this the truth of me? Do my secrets lie within the raging storm of my soul?

I am on a ledge. Yesterday, I was sure of everything; how big the world was, who I was. Then, yesterday died, and I was born again in today; and now I know nothing. I question everything, who I am, what is real. What is truth?

I see parallels everywhere, in the history of every religion, in ancient mythologies, in folklore and legends from every culture across the world; in books, in songs, in everyday monotony; similarities so extreme that I have to be truly blinded by my own ignorance not to acknowledge.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said that a true genius is one who believes in his own thoughts, “to believe that what is true for you, in your own heart is true for all men.”

I am tired of being lost. From this moment forward, I trust that the truth of reality lives inside what I feel to be real.

I believe…

I believe that there is a God.

One.

That there have been times in my life I have felt him so overwhelmingly it has brought chills to my skin and tears to my eyes.

He is real. He is truth.

I believe that there is something inside of us that is like him (…in his own image)

I believe that that part is our soul.

I believe in my soul, I feel it.

It is there, deep inside me, at my center (above my stomach, below my heart)

At times I feel it churn and storm, when I look into it, it appears as a deep dark hole, and within it I am not alone inside myself.

I believe that I am a piece of something else.

I believe that I am not whole, that my soul is incomplete.

That I belong to another and I believe I feel him.

I feel him there in that dark place, just as I have felt God; in that place that we are connected together.

I feel it so strongly that is cripples me.

I believe that I am closer to him now, than I ever have been.

His is shadowed, he is in the darkness.

He rages and storms like my soul.

I believe I will know without a doubt when I find him. I trust in that knowledge with my entire being.

I believe that there are other beings, Angels.

I believe that at some point in time, there were some that fell.

I believe that evil exists, it is the true blackness.

I believe that God is the only true white/light, and that every other thing is a shade of gray.

I believe in all possibles.

Because who am I to say what is or what is not possible. Who am I to question what is real, and what is not.

I believe in free will, and how very powerful it can be.

I do not believe in coincidences, I believe that they are signs or crossroads, or small pieces of the whole we are searching for.

I believe that when angels fell, that things were altered from what they were, and this is what gave birth to all the myths and legends we know today.

I believe that there are pieces of them left.

I believe that there is an in-between.

I believe that the darkness I feel, the darkness from him, is of that in between, a piece of something that was left.

I believe that I will not know true happiness until I am with him.

I believe he resists.

I believe that our knowledge is some of the magic of legends, and that it was left by the fallen.

I believe that more was lost than carried forward.

I believe that not all was destroyed, that some is still hidden.

And that the worst will rise again.

I believe that if good can fall, then bad can climb. (Different shades of gray)

I believe in the beginning that comes after every ending.

I believe in the bigger picture.

I believe some of the dark pieces lie within us.

I believe there will be a war and that because of free will not all that is dark will side with the blackness.

I believe I will be found and/or heard.

I believe that there is a core of truth in everything, just like our soul within us; and that something’s truly existed and that some things still do.

I believe that pieces of truth lie hidden in our past. I believe in truth, and that this acknowledgment of it will set me free.

I believe in God.

I believe in my Soul.

I believe in him.

I believe…

That this world is as big as I allow it to be.

In truth.

In tears.

In things and feelings that don’t have words, and never will.

In light.

In darkness.

In what was.

In what is.

In what will be.

I believe that he will come to me, in this lifetime, in this body.

And God, I believe in him.

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